Learning from my lil sis

My sisters typically give me way too much credit for offering them advice or setting mothering examples.  They obviously do not pay too close of attention because sometimes I am the replica of what not to do.  However while my sister was visiting me for my birthday, she made one of the most brilliant arguments I have ever heard her make and she has made a lot-girl is witty!

We live around 2-hours from each other and while driving here, her daughter started to get a little fussy like all kids do on long car rides.  My sister of course pulled over to make sure all of her needs were met but then she explained reality hit her.  She could feel guilty and stress out the rest of the trip or she could realize that her daughter is going to be fine.  She thought to herself, there are children in third world countries starving and my kid is sitting in a cushy car seat, in an air conditioned car, with a snack, milk and watching Doc Mcstuffins-I think she is going to be okay! After all surely the remaining 45-minutes of this agony will not result in future therapy and medication.

              

Her words really stuck with me because I have been a victim of this form of mother’s guilt (refer to previous blog entry) getting the best of me and devoting all of my energy into trying to make my child happy while doing everything from singing, making ridiculous noises, passing back toys and giving them anything remotely edible to please, sooth or make them happy!  Sometimes it needs to come to a point where you can consider, they are not hungry, they do not need to go to the restroom, all of their needs are met-it’s time for them to sooth themselves. 

                

Children are way more resilient than we give them credit.  Although we never want our children to endure pain or any form of suffering, the point is that sometimes those feelings are a part of life and when your child is in his/her cozy seat, in an air conditioned car, with a snack, sippy cup, his/her favorite toy and is still not happy-let it go! 

Mother of the Year Moments 

It is appropriate to begin this post with a disclaimer. If you do not have children and often think to yourself when you see children in public as I once did, “I will never let my child get away with that,” then this post is not for you. In fact you may even find this post incredibly offensive and wonder why I was ever blessed with children in the first place.

Whether a working mom or a stay at home mom, I believe all moms often experience what I call, Mother's Guilt. Granted it is not technically a diagnosed, mental disease, but once you bring life into the world, you are automatically contaminated with this illness.

Basically how I am most affected by this disease is when I am working, I feel guilty for not spending time with my children, when spending time with my children, I feel like I should be working...not to mention where my head goes when I am cooking or cleaning or worse when I am not cooking or cleaning.

One of the symptoms of Mother's Guilt involves the mind trying to focus on too many details or tasks simultaneously, resulting in awesome, mother of the year moments!

For example, recently I sent Carson down to the basement to retrieve something from the freezer. I thought it would be hilarious to sneak down the stairs and jump out; turns out, not a great plan. As I jump out, and yell, I don't even remember what, but I am sure it was something real clever like, “boo,” I completely terrified him and he proceeded to start crying. Not only does this moment make me feel real stellar, I secretly still chuckle about it when this event pops back into my head.  

I remember when Gavin was younger and one of the times I had trouble getting him to sleep, I let him take a nap in my bed and naturally I thought to myself, “I could use a nap.” I was abruptly awakened by the sound of my child rolling off of the bed, onto the floor, against the dresser. Isn't that fabulous parenting?

While typing this post, my boys and I were hanging out by our lake and Jacob was stretched out on a blanket kicking, cooing and playing. When I look down to talk to him, I was just in time to see him grab a handful of sand and shove it in his mouth-fantastic! I am sure beach sand has antibodies in it.

Through the years I have learned and continue to learn to take each day as it comes, get done what I can and hope to not have too many of those spectacular mother of the year moments! However I can always plead insanity due to Mother's Guilt.