My sisters typically give me way too much credit for offering them advice or setting mothering examples. They obviously do not pay too close of attention because sometimes I am the replica of what not to do. However while my sister was visiting me for my birthday, she made one of the most brilliant arguments I have ever heard her make and she has made a lot-girl is witty!
We live around 2-hours from each other and while driving here, her daughter started to get a little fussy like all kids do on long car rides. My sister of course pulled over to make sure all of her needs were met but then she explained reality hit her. She could feel guilty and stress out the rest of the trip or she could realize that her daughter is going to be fine. She thought to herself, there are children in third world countries starving and my kid is sitting in a cushy car seat, in an air conditioned car, with a snack, milk and watching Doc Mcstuffins-I think she is going to be okay! After all surely the remaining 45-minutes of this agony will not result in future therapy and medication.
Her words really stuck with me because I have been a victim of this form of mother’s guilt (refer to previous blog entry) getting the best of me and devoting all of my energy into trying to make my child happy while doing everything from singing, making ridiculous noises, passing back toys and giving them anything remotely edible to please, sooth or make them happy! Sometimes it needs to come to a point where you can consider, they are not hungry, they do not need to go to the restroom, all of their needs are met-it’s time for them to sooth themselves.
Children are way more resilient than we give them credit. Although we never want our children to endure pain or any form of suffering, the point is that sometimes those feelings are a part of life and when your child is in his/her cozy seat, in an air conditioned car, with a snack, sippy cup, his/her favorite toy and is still not happy-let it go!
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